Structure Creates Space by Caroline Barfield
Structure creates space.
I am not someone with a natural inclination toward structure. It takes a lot of work for me to implement any sort of routine, habit or structure into my life. I used to intentionally steer clear of structure because I felt like it would be confining or rigid, and that doesn’t feel like me.
Regardless of my avoidance of structure, I was kind of pushed into it because I NEEDED it. I never got enough sleep, I never had a routine, getting ready for bed was stressful, my mornings were frantic, there were never enough hours in the day, I felt constantly overwhelmed, and that wore me down big time.
Space was never present in my life. I truly don’t even know if I knew what space felt like.
When I finally listened to myself, I realized that I had to get more rest. My body and mind were screaming for it. I worked to implement more structure into my life to get a proper amount of sleep, and tried to have a general plan for my day and for my week. I learned that for me, structure can look like creating something as simple as a bedtime or maybe it looks like setting boundaries. Sometimes it felt like taking one step forward and two steps back, but eventually, after months of work (and a lot of grace for myself), I’ve settled into the structure that I’ve created.
In a Shakti team meeting recently, Ruby asked us what feels like space in our days and lives. For me, it’s diving into a book before bed, journaling while I have my morning coffee, moving my body, going for walks around my neighborhood, and listening to records. It hit me that all of these things that feel like space to me right now have been made possible by implementing structure in my life.
Creating structure has created space.
It’s funny to me that I feared structure would be constricting and stiff, because it’s actually given me access to grounding, freedom, rest and ease. I feel more present in my own life. WOW.
AND I’m still working on it. I still have days where I want to throw structure out the window and stay up until 2am on a weeknight watching HGTV for no good reason. I have days where my boundaries feel like a sheet of tissue paper and not like a wall. And that’s ok. Sometimes when I feel like my structure is getting a little wobbly, and the space is disappearing, I ask myself:
What feels like space to me right now?
What feels like structure?
What parts of my structure are working for me?
What can I take away?
What needs to be added?
What do I need to do to create more space?