Authenticity: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character -- By Caroline Barfield

I chose “authenticity” as my word for 2021 because I felt like after a year of one difficult

thing after another, I had become distant from myself. So many of the things that I

based my identity on were no longer available to me, and I wanted to really be able to

stand sure in who I am at my core.

Easier said than done.

What I expected from “authenticity” was joy, dressing exactly how I want to express

myself, creating more, doing more things that make me happy, being lighthearted, not

caring what people think about me, etc.

And there is some of that happening.

AND I’m. realizing that a new word is coming up a lot in my exploration of authenticity: discovery.

I’m discovering that authenticity isn’t just “living my best life” vibes. It’s really getting in

there, deepening my relationship with myself, and honoring what is present for me in

that moment: mess and all. I’m discovering that for me, authenticity looks like embracing

the mess. It looks like having more grace with myself, and it looks like discovering new

things about myself that make me feel more connected to

me.

Caroline H. said in her class the other day, “When you wobble, you are discovering,”

and that has stuck with me all week. Exploring who I am authentically has left me

feeling pretty damn wobbly. I have a LOT more questions than I have answers. But

being wobbly is creating the space for me to discover what makes me feel grounded

and strong, and I know THAT is what is really getting me closer to my fullest expression.