The Shakti Shine - February 3rd, 2020
Shakti Love Notes
We are always growing. I love that! And the more I grow, the more I recognize how important it is for us all to share what we're going through-- even (and especially) me.
So these Love Notes are a space for me to share with you each week-- about the studio, my life, how our community is growing.
I've always been someone committed to doing the work.
I started setting goals when I was 8. I remember reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when I was 12. I've kept a journal for most of my life.
In 2011 yoga made its appearance in my life in a big way, and the practices and tools I learned immediately rose alongside faith, discipline, and curiosity to take me somewhere new in my growth.
Fast forward to now- Shakti is my business of almost three years. It's become a place dedicated to community and growth and community growth. And the past three years have felt like I've merged into the fast lane on the interstate; it's growth at 100 mph.
I feel like a totally renewed person compared to the scared, striving, hard-headed and determined me of 2017. And there are pieces of me that are simply unrecognizable if you compared Me Now to Me Circa 2009.
Of course. I mean, that makes a lot of sense. It's good, refreshing, purposeful, and remarkable to look back on the growth of the past decade AND...
It's something I've been thinking a lot about. Because while there's fresh air to breathe now, there's also a twinge of regret, shame, guilt, and self-criticism when I think of who I was in 2005 and in 2009 and in 2012 and in 2016 and in 2019.
And then it came up in a conversation with my friend Kate Moore, and well, she wrote about it beautifully:
"This same conversation has come up over and over in the past few days…
Before I get into it, there are people, and spaces, and conversations that aren’t safe for you - and YOU have permission *and I hope the ability* to, at any time, remove yourself from the presence of someone who’s committed to not understanding you, who’s causing you harm, from a space that isn’t supportive, from toxic environments, from conversations that you do not have the energy for. You can block people. You may unfollow. You may unfriend. You may do that at anytime and you may do it in real life.
AND, here’s the meat of it: we’re complex. All of us. It’s the human condition, and *collectively* I feel we must get better at holding space for that. We must care when we cause harm to each other. We must have grace AND accountability for ourselves and each other when we do.
I’ve body shamed my friends in the past and now, it feels like my current life’s calling to understand and speak loudly about how diet-culture intersects with capitalism: the patriarchy, racism, anti-blackness, homophobia, transphobia, ableism… It’s an every BODY problem. If you meet someone from my past who has no clue what I’m up to now, they might share that I was toxic for them. If you meet someone who knows me now, they might say, “She’d never do something like that!” And I hate to let you down, but 16 year old Kate isn’t consistent with 30 year old Kate.
I used to think, how could I be racist?! I’m nice! But now I know that racism is a system - it’s the air we breathe. AND I know that *nice* isn’t shit. I’ve fucked up and been called on it… I am deeply committed to being anti-racist in every room I’m in AND I know it will be a lifetime of me fucking up, and doing better. But that fear and shame of fucking up can’t keep me from showing up.
I used to think that women’s *hormones* made us extremely emotional, and because of that, we couldn’t make for good leaders. Now a days, bless the person that says that in my presence because… well… I’ve unlearned some bullshit over the years.
Believe the people who tell you I’ve hurt them. Believe the people who trust, love, and understand me now.
If you’ve been 100% consistent throughout your life, good for you… also, I invite you to take a closer look. Growth makes sense. Unlearning makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that we grow up in a totally socially aware environment and nothing has changed since the day we were born.
We’ve got to let each other grow and heal, and commit to our own personal growth and healing, so that we can harm each other as a collective, less."
- Kate Moore, @moore_kate // GetFit615, @getfit615
So that made me think:
Can I hold space for who I am now AND who I was just a few years ago?
Can I see someone in a brand new way considering that it's possible they've changed?
Can I do that for myself?
Can I leave room for grace in that way?
Can I forgive?
Could this really be the key?... To give up 'getting someplace' and being 'better than' and instead... Stay in my own lane, grow, and cheer others on, and grow, and cheer, and try again, and grow, and look back, and hold space for something new.
Can I give up judgement and commit to presence?
I think so.
In fact I think it's the only way forward with freedom.
xx
Ruby
Beyond the mat...
We love Athens.
And we love you.
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~ Inquiry Corner ~
Baptiste Methodology- This is why we do what we do. It's the foundation of the style of yoga we offer and sets the stage for our Up to Something Bigger attitude. Everything from how to show up, practices & techniques, and the structures to support.
"Be a Yes," "Give Up What You Must," and "Come From You Are Ready Now," are the three themes of Baptiste Methodology.
You've probably heard teachers use this sort of language, and in this week's IGTV, Emily talks about how to use these themes to create actionable change in your life.
Check it out!
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Thank you for being here.
We love sharing our journey with you!
See you at the studio soon.